i love meeting boys who say bukowski is their favorite writer. i love picturing them reading his words for the first time and pounding their first on the table because yes, finally, someone agrees with them. someone understands that life should be spent seeking out truth, isolation, and alcohol….
To look back on finding you
With fourteen-year-old heart reaching out
In desparation, in a new small town,
Candida, I know that you were looking for
Everything that you would later miss.
If we hadn’t met in the way that we met,
Never introduced in the cafeteria that day,
All of us sitting at the same table,
Looking back we ALL became friends
In due time, we saw that we are all alike,
Finding a future in happenstance,
Everyone fell in love with you,
Taking precious time to get to know you,
I fell in love with you.
Me, who didn’t believe
Even though I’d seen it.
In you, I found something I could hold onto,
Vicious love, which was ruined by my mother,
Every woman was the same, but you were different.
Finding you changed everything for me.
Our lives found each other for a reason, Candida.
Ulcerous condition, invading a stomach with lovable contempt
Not knowing the wonder you brought with you, your mother
Driving the blue shoebox van…
You changed my life. You gave me understanding, like a child
On PCP, you surprised me with your trust… Finding me
Under that summer velvet sky that we called “Home.”